Creating a Strong Workplace Culture Through Trust and Effective Communication
“I need a raise, or I am going to be looking elsewhere for employment.”
A business owner showed me that text from one of his field employees.
Then he asked me:
“What would you do?”
My first reaction?
“Well, there’s the door, don’t let it hit you on the way out.”
I’m guessing a few business owners just nodded.
But here’s the problem.
If I respond that way, am I actually leading?
Or am I just reacting?
Because maybe the bigger problem isn’t that this young man didn’t know how to communicate.
Maybe nobody ever taught him how.
And if we’re not teaching our teams how to communicate effectively, we shouldn’t be surprised when they communicate the way the rest of society is teaching them.
Before we finish, I’ll give you five simple things you can start doing to improve communication and build more trust with your team.
But first, we need to talk about where this communication gap is coming from.
Maybe This Is How We’ve Taught People to Communicate
Think about the message again:
“I need a raise, or I am going to be looking elsewhere for employment.”
As an employer, that can sound like a threat.
My immediate reaction proved it.
There’s the door.
But imagine if he had asked:
“What do I need to accomplish to get to this wage at this company?”
Same employee.
Same goal.
Completely different conversation.
One creates conflict.
The other creates a path forward.
So here’s the question:
Who taught him how to have that conversation?
Maybe nobody.
Look at how much communication has changed.
Social media rewards quick reactions.
News and entertainment often reward conflict.
Online conversations can turn into arguments between people who have never met.
We’re constantly being shown examples of people talking at each other instead of talking with each other.
Then Monday morning comes.
Everybody walks into work.
And somehow we expect them to leave all of that at the door and suddenly know how to have productive, difficult conversations.
Why would we expect that?
If We Don’t Teach It, Who Will?
I hear leaders complain that younger employees don’t know how to communicate.
And sometimes they’re right.
But I think we have to finish that sentence.
If they don’t know how to communicate, what are we doing to teach them?
Communication is a skill.
Having a difficult conversation is a skill.
Disagreeing without attacking someone is a skill.
Asking for more responsibility is a skill.
Giving feedback is a skill.
Receiving feedback is a skill.
Asking for a raise is a skill.
We train people how to use equipment.
We train them on software.
We train them on safety.
We train them on our processes.
Then we put them around other human beings for eight hours a day and assume they already know how to communicate.
That’s a pretty big assumption.
We’re Not Always Great at It Either
And before this turns into a conversation about “kids these days,” let’s be fair.
We’re not always great communicators either.
I know I’m not.
Remember my first reaction?
“Well, there’s the door, don’t let it hit you on the way out.”
That’s probably not going in any leadership textbooks.
The employee communicated in a way that triggered a reaction in me.
If I respond with my own reaction, now we have two people communicating poorly.
Who’s leading?
At Grow Ignited, this is exactly the kind of interaction we look at through TRI-SHIFT®.
TRI-SHIFT® helps us recognize the mindset we’re operating from and intentionally choose a more productive response.
Because leadership doesn’t mean you don’t have the reaction.
It means you learn what to do with it.
That’s Where Culture Actually Lives
We make culture really complicated.
We write mission statements.
We put values on walls.
We plan team-building events.
We buy lunch.
All of that can be great.
But your culture is being built somewhere else.
It’s being built in the interactions your people have every day.
What happens when somebody makes a mistake?
What happens when an employee disagrees with the boss?
What happens when somebody asks for a raise?
What happens when a manager needs to correct poor performance?
What happens when someone brings you bad news?
And maybe most importantly:
Do we use those moments to punish poor communication, or teach better communication?
That’s where culture gets built.
People Don’t All Hear Things the Same Way
Here’s where communication gets even more interesting.
You can say the exact same words to two people and get two completely different responses.
Because the words are only part of the transaction.
How you say something matters.
Tone matters.
Tonation matters.
The interaction matters.
Our assumptions matter.
Unconscious bias matters.
Sometimes something happens in a conversation that neither person consciously recognizes.
You think you said one thing.
They heard something completely different.
You think the meeting went great.
They’re in the parking lot wondering what just happened.
Those subtle crossed transactions can slowly create a rift between people.
Do it enough times and that rift becomes part of the culture.
How Are You Communicating With Your Team?
This is one of the reasons we created the S.H.I.F.T. Communication Assessment.
S.H.I.F.T. stands for:
Strategic Habits Influencing Functional Teamwork.
The assessment uses personal audible transactions, tonation, and unconscious bias to help detect subtle crossed transactions that can hurt communication.
And here’s the interesting part.
You can try it yourself for free.
Take the Free S.H.I.F.T. Communication Assessment
Most of us judge our communication based on what we intended to say.
But the person on the other side doesn’t get our intentions.
They get the interaction.
Those aren’t always the same thing.
Then There’s Personality
Now add personality and values.
Somebody on your team wants details.
Someone else wants you to get to the point.
One person wants recognition.
Another doesn’t want you making a big deal about them in front of everybody.
Someone wants independence.
Someone else wants clear direction.
Same leader.
Different people.
Our Advanced Insights assessments help us understand personality, values, communication preferences, and some of the blind spots we naturally bring into our interactions with other people.
Because there’s a big difference between:
“That’s how I communicate.”
and:
“That’s how they need me to communicate.”
Learn more about our Team Assessments
This Is Where the Rift Starts
When we don’t teach people how to communicate, little problems become bigger ones.
The employee thinks:
“My boss doesn’t listen.”
The boss thinks:
“These employees are entitled.”
The employee stops talking.
The boss gets frustrated.
Both sides start making assumptions about the other.
And the gap gets wider.
Eventually we call it a culture problem.
But maybe it started as a communication problem.
That’s why I think leaders have an opportunity here.
We can’t control social media.
We can’t control the news.
We can’t control every influence our employees have outside of work.
But we can control what we teach inside our organizations.
We can show people how to disagree.
How to ask.
How to listen.
How to give feedback.
How to receive feedback.
How to have a difficult conversation without turning it into a fight.
That’s leadership.
The Five Things I Promised You
So where do we start?
You don’t need a 50-page communication manual.
Start with these five things.
1. Teach the Conversation
Don’t assume people know how to communicate what they need.
Show them.
That business owner could have fired the employee for the way he asked for a raise.
Instead, he taught him a better way to have the conversation.
That’s leadership development happening in real time.
2. Ask More Questions
Before reacting, try:
“Help me understand where you’re coming from.”
You might be surprised by the answer.
3. Model What You Expect
If we want employees to communicate respectfully, clearly, and productively, they need to see us doing it.
Especially when we’re frustrated.
Maybe especially when we’re frustrated.
4. Make Expectations Clear
People can’t hit a target they can’t see.
If somebody wants a raise, promotion, or more responsibility, help them understand what getting there looks like.
Give them a path instead of making them guess.
5. Have the Difficult Conversation
Don’t avoid uncomfortable conversations.
Teach people how to have them.
Healthy cultures still have conflict.
Great teams still disagree.
They’ve just learned how to work through it.
One Interaction at a Time
Let’s go back to that text.
“I need a raise, or I am going to be looking elsewhere for employment.”
The owner could have responded:
“Well, there’s the door, don’t let it hit you on the way out.”
Conversation over.
Employee gone.
And both sides probably walk away convinced the other person was the problem.
Instead, the owner had the conversation.
He explained how the employee’s words were being received.
He showed him another way to communicate what he wanted.
The employee learned.
And the leader led.
That’s culture.
We’re asking our employees to navigate difficult conversations in a world that isn’t necessarily teaching them how to have those conversations well.
So maybe we need to.
If you want to start by looking at your own communication, take our free S.H.I.F.T. Communication Assessment.
Take the Free S.H.I.F.T. Communication Assessment
If you want to go deeper into mindset and leadership communication, explore TRI-SHIFT®.
Learn more about Executive Development
Because if we want our teams to communicate differently, we can’t just expect it.
We have to teach it.
And that starts with the next interaction.
